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The Choice of Life or Death by Fear and Delusion
My Cancer Story by Kathleen Murray October 2004
29th Feb. 2004 Aching flu, feeling an ache and pain in a lump in my breast. Oh yes, that lump, I’d forgotten about it. How long had it been there? Guilt. I noticed it ages ago – but only in the passing – when was that? May have been the year before last, in the autumn – wasn’t it around the time when I was moving kilos and kilos of stones down from a nearby hillside, into a trailer and then wheel barrowing them into the garden?
I rationalized that it could be an oedema, fluid forming around muscle tissue right on my pectorals. That rationalization I used to comfort myself over the next few months until I was given the diagnosis of breast cancer.
Next day on my daughter Joy’s 4th birthday I went to my doctor. I took an appointment with a woman doctor who had recently joined the practice. She asked a lot of questions and I felt intimidated as I answered ‘no’ to them all. No history of breast cancer in my family… she gave me the feeling of wasting her time. She did do a clinical examination and summarized that both my breasts felt fibrous and that could ‘just be me’. She would however give me what I was asking for- a breast scan and tests to determine whether cancer was present. I came away feeling humiliated and vowed never to take an appointment with her again.
Three weeks later I went for a mammogram at Aberdeen Royal Infirmary. Before I went I received a card for an appointment with a consultant at the Breast clinic – not until the 18th May (10 weeks after seeing the doctor). An accompanying leaflet spoke of results in 10 days. I hoped that I would be that quick. I wanted to know. I wanted it all in the past, dealt with which ever way. I used my rationalization to keep the guilt at bay. How could I have neglected myself?
I began focusing in my personal meditations and daily healing sessions, asking for anything I held within me that would create cancer to come to the surface. I actively wanted to work with it and face it.
On 18th May I dropped my four year old off at a babysitter’s for the day and headed into Aberdeen. I stayed as calm as I could, answering lots of questions as to why I’d come for the appointment. At the first clinical examination I realized that the lump was bigger than I’d thought. My breasts were smaller than usual (time of month) and when I lay on the couch, as the flesh from my breasts fell to the side of my body, more clearer than ever was the LUMP, looking larger and more solid.
I was answering positive to questions which instinctively told me that the lump was cancerous and not benign. The surgeon came to examine me. She said that there was hardly a shadow on the mammogram, but after the examination she asked if I would stay for more tests- an ultrasound scan and needle aspirations. The professor interpreting the pictures on the screen again strengthened my feeling that I could have cancer, especially when she said, “I don’t like what I see here at all”. The needle aspirations were sore. No anesthetic, just a needle put several times into the lump in my breast.
There were two ladies trying to get the tumour cells onto a slide to look at under a microscope. Afterwards I was shown into a room to wait. Finally four women came in together. First was the one who had recorded my details, along with the surgeon and two breast care nurses, one in training. The surgeon told me I had cancer. All the disbelief in me turned into emotion and tears came fast. I turned into mush and asked if they could give me a moment. I wondered how other women cope. I felt I couldn’t take any more information.
One of those moments when every emotion I had been suppressing came welling up, dissolving any right brain capacities. She paused only for a short while as the surreal scene unfolded. The surgeon showed no emotion at all. The first lady looked distressed and uncomfortable. The older breast care nurse looked like a cardboard cut out and the younger one in training looked sympathetic and curious. The surgeon recommended removal of my right breast, the lump was too big and my breast too small for it to be removed as a lumpectomy. Reconstruction was possible either in one operation or I could wait months before making any decision. My head was swimming.
The breast care nurses stayed, the others went. I spoke about the loved ones in my life who had had cancer (my spiritual family). The older one didn’t want to dialogue on the recurrence of cancer which usually kills people. She also told me not to bother looking at the information on the internet- it was too confusing. She gave me NHS booklets. I said I would be doing my own research.
How would I tell my children, my two girls? As a single parent how could I organize my life so it could be as normal as possible for the time I would be in hospital for the operation and when I would be disabled for several weeks- unfit to drive, cook, clean and lift my children. I was emotional but worked out that it could all be possible. I saw another GP at home who said he could arrange for the community nurse to bring in carers while I recovered. The surgeon was insistent that my breast be removed as soon as possible.
I started my research. I had been recommending the Phillip Day material to people who had come to me for healing, www.credence.org – so time now to engage myself in reading ‘Cancer – why we’re still dying to know the truth’ Phillip Day; ‘Great News on Cancer in the 21st Century’ Steven Ransom; B17 Metabolic Therapy in the Prevention and Control of Cancer’ Philip Day. I was astounded at all I read.
The origins of the drugs used for to treat cancer horrified me. During the Second World War a ship carrying mustard gas exploded. In the autopsies carried out on crew members, it was noticed that exposure to mustard gas had caused the destruction of fast growing tissue and had slowed down the reproduction of white blood cells. It was surmised that since cancer grew rapidly, these poisons could kill cancer tissue swiftly. (Steven Ransom has sourced this information from John Moelaert, The Cancer Conspiracy, Moelaert Publications, June 1999).
Mustard gas will kill a person in four to five weeks – a painful death with internal and external bleeding, and mucous membranes being stripped off the bronchial tubes. The scientists were right; exposure to these gases did kill cancerous tissue. Only it is likely the patient dies from toxic chemicals long before any tumours are eliminated. Chemotherapy has its origins in chemical warfare and every drug developed for four decades that is active against cancer has produced side-effects reminiscent of the research results on chemical warfare.
I ordered apricot kernels and Essiac tea. I changed my diet to follow the guidelines of creating an alkaline environment where cancer can’t grow. I learned the importance of detoxing and focusing on hydration.
A week after my diagnosis I went back for a biopsy. The Breast Clinic took the opportunity to get me to fill in the forms for admittance to hospital for the operation. By this time all I was experiencing was through the lies of it all. Chemotherapy can only kill cells and destroy immune systems. (My lump was too big too shrink with chemo, I was told). Operations to remove tumours can spread them. It is a surgeon’s personal choice how many or all of the lymph nodes they remove at the time of the operation. Radiation destroys.
I saw 3 women wearing wigs, one because of the hot day boldly and happily being bald with the beginnings of new hair growth. I felt so sad that it was too late for them to try any alternatives to the cut/burn and destroy. By this time I was beginning to feel courageous enough to defy the cancer machine, the voice of authority of the NHS and a surgeon who felt no alternative viable to removal of my breast.
I was still shocked only hours after returning home from the biopsy, to be offered a place in the operating theatre the following week. I would have to let them know immediately, the breast care nurse said, if I wanted a reconstruction done at the same time. Now I was getting angrier. The biopsy was to confirm cancer and I had been told the results would take 2 weeks to come through. How could they offer me an operation without having the cancer confirmed first?
I refused an appointment with the surgeon for June 8th, as it was a phenomenally energetic day to do healing – Venus transit, a Galactic Activation Portal and one of Pacal Votan’s 13 days in the Mayan sacred calendar, the T’zolkin (211). I wanted to spend the day with friends doing personal and planetary healing at Findhorn. We had a beautiful time, doing deep sound work and working with the ancestors.
My guidance was now to increase the dosage of vitamin B17, which I had been getting from apricot kernels and other foods. I phoned Credence and was told there were only 4 doctors in the UK who could give B17 in high dose tablets by prescription. I chose one and made an appointment for the following week. My tumour started aching on certain days. The first time I noticed dramatic sensations was the day after the Venus transit. It felt like labour pains. I kept a focus on myself and tumour as I felt these ‘shafts’ of sensations run through the tumour.
June 15th and the journey to the hospital to tell the surgeon that I wouldn’t be having an operation or any treatment. I was feeling nervous. I was also feeling defiant and angry at all the fear and delusion around cancer.
My loved one Paul had resigned his job in Norwich to be with me and support me through the breast cancer. This was the first hospital appointment when I had someone with me. I was happy of the support. It is a challenge to speak your truth in such an intimidating environment. We were kept waiting 50 minutes. This time the dynamics were very different. Paul and myself, the surgeon Miss Smyth and the breast care nurse. Without clearly stating the biopsy results she restated that the only thing she could recommend was operate, a mastectomy immediately.
I didn’t know what I was going to say. I heard myself saying “I’ve managed to shrink the tumour”. Silence. I offered to show her, by this time used to undressing and showing my breasts. She gestured to the medical couch. I could see she was in a spin. She felt both breasts and I pointed out the biopsy scar, the small cut the man had made before launching a thick needle from a gun into my frozen breast. There was still bruising, fading after now 3 weeks. I said “Look at the scar. There isn’t any hard lump underneath it now. The tumour is all over to the right side. He didn’t put the biopsy needle into the side of the tumour, he took the cells from the hardest part to get a good sample. Under the scar it is all flesh now, all soft.”
Miss Smyth didn’t say very much. I said that I wanted to continue working with nutrition, diet and vitamins. I didn’t want the operation. The silence of disbelief was enormous. I repeated twice that I didn’t feel that this was particularly life threatening. That seemed to disturb them even more. Not the usual reaction of unquestioning obedience.
The tumour was shrinking or had it moved? I innocently asked. I wanted out of the hospital. I didn’t want to waste any more time there. But I was asked if I would stay and have the tumour measured again by ultrasound. I said yes only after stating that it didn’t matter what size they told me it was, I was going to work away with it on my own. I felt there was no reason to trust these people.
There was a long queue of women waiting for scans and needle aspirations. Again I requested knowing what time I had to wait. I would do as they asked but not if it involved waiting 4 hours. I was promised an appointment with Prof. Gilbert in about an hour. I was told she was very willing to see me.
There was another doctor with her and the nurse in charge. Although Prof. Gilbert didn’t have the images from four weeks ago, she had the size of the tumour in her notes, 5cms by 3 by 2 cms. She was very interested in alternative methods and asked me to explain what I was doing. To keep it simple I kept to the scientifically proven B17 metabolic therapy and the nutritional regimes that the cancer clinics use. (I thought speaking about my meditational and healing practices with light would stretch them too far) I also spoke about my appointment 2 days later to see a private doctor in East Sussex who would prescribe high doses of B17.
She acknowledged that I had done a lot of research and although she couldn’t be sure, she felt the depth of the tumour was now 1cm instead of 2cms. She said she couldn’t be sure of where she measured the other sizes from. When I pointed out to her about the flesh under the biopsy scar being soft now, she did laugh and say that tumours weren’t known to move. She asked me if I would have another chat with Miss Smyth the surgeon and explain how I knew what I was doing and that I was well researched.
“Are you asking me to make her more comfortable?” I asked.
“No, er… yes” she laughingly replied. “Interesting that I have to make her feel more comfortable” I said. Apparently Miss Smyth’s team were all very aware she wasn’t handling the situation very well.
She had a different approach when we saw her again. This was a woman who clearly believed that she was doing the right thing, and could not be questioned, who was used to being obeyed with a reverence close to God. Finally she did ask if it would help for her to write to the private doctor. Dr. Young-Snell had asked about the tumour marked test CA15-3. She looked at me blankly when I asked her about this. Clearly the NHS do not spend any money on checking the amount of cancerous activity in a tumour – an inexpensive test- when they choose to do an operation with Miss Smyth’s time and £500 of reconstruction materials for a new breast. To say nothing of the drugs they would want to offer me later, probably to be on for the rest of my life.
I was so glad to get out of that Breast Clinic and hospital. One part of me was angry inside at the deception of so many innocent women. Innocent women who are very vulnerable and trusting, not knowing what else to do, after all these are meant to be our nation’s health care experts. And there is always a fear that if once a person refuses to take the NHS treatment, then they will be refused help when they request it at another time.
Innocent women of all ages being encouraged to take life destroying drugs, losing their hair, their full feminine body and perhaps their power and their dignity and self love and self- esteem - all for nothing. Women have enough to fight within themselves when they have breast cancer without wasting their precious courage and misplacing their faith in inappropriate statistically unproven methods, misrepresented to them as the only way, treated by experts in their fields. A surgeon can only recommend cutting parts out of another person - that is their job. Perhaps they should not head the team of carers assigned to women. I feel the emotional vulnerability and the fear which surrounds cancer is worse than the disease itself.
20 days after my bid for freedom from the NHS system, my GP took a blood sample to send to a private laboratory for a CA15-3. Dr. Young-Snell, the cancer specialist in B17 therapy suggested the one was taken at the beginning of the treatment and another 3 months later, usual readings for breast cancer would be around 300, and if the second test showed about 50 this would be considered successful, continuing with the nutritional and metabolic treatment until the cancer is gone.
On 5th July my first blood sample was taken for the CA15-3. On 17th July I listened to a message on my answering machine, my GP was telling me that my result was 5, and this was a normal result, the normal range being less than 28.
NO CANCER. 7 weeks after being diagnosed. 7 weeks of working with my fears with all my focus. Intently healing myself and calling in all my resources. Bringing in the nutritional guidelines and chewing apricot kernels (7 a day is recommended as a prevention for cancer). Stepping up the dose of B17 after 3 weeks, but really only 2 weeks of following an intense detox, hydration and nutrition and vitamin regime to get these results. I only spent 2 weeks following the ‘traditional’ vegan cancer diet. It didn’t suit me. I lost weight and energy, and took myself off of it, following the guidelines of my Chinese herbalist/Ayurvedic doctor instead.
I still follow the detox guidelines, though now I can relax. I am still shrinking the tumour - even the NHS measurements allow that it is 1cm smaller in 2 dimensions. I have had a second CA15 – 3 reading normal, 3 months later.
Many people have healed themselves of cancer. But some people don’t know how to. Although I am a healer with resources, I did use a scientifically proven method. I want to give a message of hope for everyone with cancer. It is becoming more and more common. Humanity has a lot of deep seated anger to release. The message of hope is that if you want to cure your own cancer and greatly improve your health, there are many ways to do it.
Nutrition is a building block of health. We need to boost our immune systems to help us fight any disease. It is crazy to accept chemotherapy which kills all cells and damages our immune system. We are living with more and more toxicity around us, in our food, our water and the air we breathe. Living and eating organically has been a must for me to return to health.
The good news is that it is never too late. Even people who have been given up to die by the professionals, if they want to live then B17 can help, intravenously and then orally. And yes this costs money. Can you put a price on your life? Can you deny yourself and your family life? There is always a way. Read the testimonials on www.credence.org and in Philip Day’s ‘CANCER Why we are dying to know the Truth’.
Post Script to My Cancer Story
I have met with surprise from people. A person following spiritual practices and a healthy diet – how could they get cancer? Why not, is my reply?
We live in a world weakened by chemicals; fluoride in our water, aspartame in food and drink, our endocrine system and immune systems overtaxed with poisons and toxins. Our bodies are crying out for the freedom to be pure and natural.
We are following our soul’s journey – whatever we need to heal will be presented to us. My cancer was seeded during a very traumatic time in 2000, when the two people closest to me discovered they had cancer. One died, the other didn’t want to have me and his newborn daughter in his life anymore. I was angry. I dealt with what I could, the pain in my heart became cancer in my right breast (heart chakra). I was vulnerable, my immune system weak with sleep deprivation and my inability to maintain my health.
I tell my story to give inspiration to others. My aim is to spread the word about vitamin B17 and the many other cancer cures that exist. Statistics show that cancer may soon be affecting 1 in 3 people. There is manipulation of fear around cancer. Our fear becomes predative and feeds destruction on any issue of self destruct we carry. My message is one of hope, I hope it serves well.
Kathleen Murray November 2004
Kathleen Murray is the Director of the Academy of Crystal and Natural Healing, based in Aberdeenshire, Scotland. She is the author of The Divine Spark of Creation, the Crystal Skull Speaks ISBN 1-902711-05X and has taught workshops in the UK, Ireland, Holland, America, Brazil and Australia. She is well known as a guardian of crystal skulls, including Sammie, Kalif, and three ancient jade skulls. She is interested in working in depth with cancer and terminal illness.
Quotes from Great News on Cancer in the 21st Century, Steven Ransom
“there is no proof that chemotherapy actually extends life…the great lie about chemotherapy (is) that somehow there is a correlation between shrinking a tumour and extending the life of a patient.” p 19
“My studies have proven conclusively that untreated cancer victims usually live up to four times longer than treated individuals. For a typical type of cancer, people who refused treatment lived for an average of twelve and a half years. Those who accepted surgery and other kinds of treatment lived an average of only three years.” Hardin Jones “A Report on Cancer delivered to the American Cancer Society’s 11th Annual Science Writer’s Conference in New Orleans,1969
p19,20
“Some may baulk at the accusation that a concerted suppression of successful, non-conventional cancer treatments has been taking place. …global spending on conventional cancer running into billions of dollars annually, any news of a successful, non-pharmaceutical anti-cancer approach might be expected to upset the status quo.” p12
“In the UK alone, £2.8 billion a year is spent in the conventional cancer emporium. That ‘s roughly £6,800,000 a day” p12
From a French Cancer Specialist, Prof. Charles Mathe, “If I contracted cancer, I would never go to a standard cancer treatment centre.” p16
“The immune system is hit particularly hard by chemotherapy and often does not recuperate enough adequately to protect from common illnesses, which can then lead to death.” p17
“some patients develop another form of cancer as a result of their treatment with chemotherapy and radiation.” p21
Label on a Glaxo chemotherapy bottle
Warning: Leukeran (chlorambucil) can severely suppress bone marrow function. Chlorambucil is a carcinogen in humans. p23
Phillip Day Cancer Why we’re still dying to know the truth
“whether any of the common cancers can be cured by chemotherapy has yet to be established.” John Cairns Prof. of Microbiology at Harvard University p13
P15 “Many medical oncologists recommend chemotherapy for virtually any tumour, with a hopefulness undiscouraged by almost invariable failure.”
Kathleen Murray
Galactic Publications (Earth)
PO BOX 11511
Huntly
Aberdeenshire
AB54 4WG
skulls@crystal-keys.com
The Cancer Interview for Paradigm Shift Magazine
11th June 2005
How did you first become aware that there was a problem that needed investigation?
I first became aware that I had something other than flu and continual illness, which was diagnosed as chronic fatigue, at the end of February 2004. My immune system was down. Alarm bells went off in my head. One of the parts of my body that was aching was a lump in my breast. I felt it was suddenly quite big and I didn’t know how it had got there. To calm myself I rationalized it was an oedema, fluid forming around muscle tissue on my pectorals. I used this rationalization to comfort myself while waiting for a diagnosis.
I went along to see my GP and had a horrendous time there with a doctor who looked at me in disbelief. I was apparently in the wrong age group and without a history of cancer in my family. I felt intimidated and humiliated, but I insisted that I have a mammogram. I was given an appointment for a mammogram three weeks later. It was 10 weeks after my request that I saw the specialists at the breast clinic in Aberdeen. My consultant was a surgeon who after a clinical examination asked me if I would go for further tests with ultrasound, and then and needle aspirations. She then told me that I had cancer in my right breast. Hardly stopping to give me time to digest this news, the consultant recommended that I have my right breast removed as the tumour was quite big, and said it was better that it was done immediately.
I was really shocked, very emotional and very vulnerable. In some ways it is perhaps every woman’s nightmare, and a shocking reality to face - an operation like that, immediately. I suppose I am always suspicious of the accuracy of tests and I thought and hoped the biopsy, to be done a week later in Aberdeen, would prove I didn’t have cancer. I was really angered when after returning from the biopsy I received a phone call offering me a place in the theatre the following week. I completely lost my faith in the NHS.
How long did it take to get the biopsy results? – did you ever get the results?
I was told the biopsy results would take two weeks to come through. I post-phoned an appointment offered to me for the 8th June (2004) as it was a phenomenally energetic day to do healing. A Venus transit, a Galactic Activation Portal and one of Pacal Votan’s 13 days in the Mayan calendar, T’Zolkin 211. I gave myself more time to do healing and went in to get the results a week later.
What did you do once you found that you had breast cancer?
After the cancer diagnosis I began my research. I knew of the Phillip Day material, www.credence.org , so now it was time to read it all for myself. ‘Cancer – why we’re still dying to know the truth’; ‘B17 Metabolic Therapy in the Prevention and Control of Cancer’; and ’Great News on Cancer in the 21st Century’ by Steven Ransom. I was horrified at all I read. How could all this information about cancer cures be suppressed for so long? Why? And who would want to control people’s lives with deadly drugs which don’t offer your body an easy way to recover? I couldn’t believe that the treatment used by the NHS actually damages your health. Many of the drugs used in chemotherapy are carcinogenic! All damage the immune system, which is why the cancer is growing in the first place. Cancer can’t grow in a healthy body with a strong immune system. It is now recognized that cancers start growing relatively frequently in our bodies, but most don’t become a problem because the immune system spots the different cells and dispatches T cells to destroy them.
How did you feel during this time, and how did you deal with those issues?
Now I know and I can feel what every other person feels who has cancer – the thoughts and the emotions and the negativity that comes back whenever you are open and vulnerable. In the first few weeks every time I felt these waves of negativity hit me, I would not deny that they were there. I knew that the cancer was caused by suppression of emotions, of anger, of resentment, and I needed to live through them as part of the process to release myself from the disease. So the cancer had triggered the very emotions that had caused it. Anger at being unable to cope stuffed inside my body, and when I was told of the diagnosis the disease brings up the very conditions that caused it. I remember spending time feeling why me? I would be out looking at people in supermarkets and going about their daily work and wondering why me? The feelings are real. They need acknowledged. I had days when the tears wouldn’t stop flowing.
The experience of discovering you have a terminal disease, makes you look at life. It made me look at my life, at how I have lived it, and what in me was here to fight for life, for what I believe life to be, which is not as a body that has had surgery. I did go through a stage where I felt I would just like the lump cut out and that would be an end of it. I guess that it is part of the cancer picture to feel over burdened, over responsible and over identifying with others.
What options were you give by the NHS, how did you feel about those and what was your response?
I was given no option by the consultant in the NHS. She was a surgeon and recommended surgery immediately. I was outraged. I was also glad she didn’t suggest chemotherapy to shrink the tumour, which is what they often recommend. It would have been another issue to battle with them. The consultant I had found me very difficult. The other members of the team she was heading were happier to listen to what I decided to do, except for one breast care nurse who told me not to waste my time looking for information on the internet. She would give me all the information I needed - NHS booklets which made me very emotional. This is a whole system set up to support victims and you can feel like a victim when you have cancer. It would be easy to fall into the support they offer. I did consider it but at the same time I was researching the alternatives.
Given your background and knowledge what did you decide to do, and how did you chose your course of treatment?
Was this the day you were actually having the test?
Yes.
While waiting for the biopsy that day, and listening to a Lazaris tape on the nature of healing, I took courage and great inspiration to hear the truth that if we say our desires truly from our heart, that we do not wish to be ill, then it will be so. We can send those signals out and the universe will respond. It sounds so simple!
I decided to order apricot kernels and Essiac tea. I changed my diet completely to assist my body detox and to turn my body into an alkaline environment where cancer couldn’t grow. I learnt the importance of hydration (most of us are very dehydrated). When I was eating the maximum recommended does of B17 through apricot kernels, I was given the guidance to increase the B17. I was given the name of four doctors in the UK who prescribe B17 in tablet form or intravenously, as in the cancer clinics, from Credence, Phillip’s Day’s company. I chose one and set up an appointment for the following week. He also recommended that I see a specialist in nutrition who would monitor my diet. I had been seeing an ayurvedic doctor since the beginning of the year to help with the chronic fatigue. He had suggested that I increase my levels of protein to rebuild all the energy I had lost. After being a vegetarian for 30 years, I started eating meat. I was willing to give anything a go to improve my health. Along with acupuncture, herbal tinctures and major diet changes, I triumphed over the chronic fatigue. I was not willing to lose energy and weight by following the traditional cancer diet. I did try it for two weeks, found I did lose weight and energy and recommenced my meat and fish eating - all organic of course. No wheat and no dairy, steamed vegetables and organic short grain brown rice. Nothing processed at all. I was sprouting seeds and juicing vegetables, eating nuts and taking supplements of minerals and vitamins in high doses to make things very easy for my body to arrest and reverse the cancer. The guidelines I were given from the cancer doctor and nutritionist were, feel good and my health would increase. Nothing in the treatment should make me feel unwell. What a contrast to conventional treatment!
What was the response of the NHS to this?
I delayed my next appointment to give me time to work with my own healing. About a month after the diagnosis I saw my consultant. She didn’t tell me the result of the biopsy, only restated that the only thing she could recommend was to operate, a mastectomy immediately.
She didn’t give me much of an opportunity to talk to her about what I was doing and what I intended to do. She wasn’t used to being disobeyed and she was very bullying. I felt strong enough to face her, especially when I knew my tumour had shrunk! When a biopsy is taken they shoot a large needle into the centre of the tumour (a suspect process as it could spread cancer, the same as a surgical operation). The scar I had from my biopsy was now to the left of the tumour lump. It was not in the middle, and where there had been a hard lump was now soft flesh.
I said “I have managed to shrink the tumour”. No response. I invited her to look. She didn’t say very much when I told her I was continuing to work with nutrition, diet and vitamins. I didn’t want the operation I told her. Silence. She was disturbed when I said that I didn’t feel the situation was particularly life threatening. I asked her if tumours shrink or move. She left the room. A breast care nurse returned and I was asked to have the tumour measured again. I agreed to this after stating that it didn’t matter what size they told me it was, I would be working with my cancer on my own. I really didn’t trust these people. The professor who was measuring the tumours was very open to discussion and interested in what I had to tell her. She knew the theory of the alternative practices and wished me luck. She also asked me to have another meeting with the surgeon, who was stressed at my approach. Her team were all aware that she wasn’t handling the situation very well. I left the building with such a sense of relief.
But I also was feeling angry at the deception of so many innocent women, women who thought they were being given the best treatment there could be, or the only treatment available for cancer.
In practical terms how easy was it to implement your chosen programme, what did you experience and how did you feel during this time?
Over the next few weeks I continued with my healing regime. Sometimes I found it difficult to get all the organically grown vegetables I needed for my juices and to eat. I wasn’t working at the time, just concentrating on healing, mediation and feeding my body all the nutrition and hydration I could. At times I felt trapped inside such a disciplined regime. Nearly every hour of the day I was giving myself supplements or eating or drinking. Spontaneity couldn’t exist, which I missed. However all the mundane focus on reversing the cancer was a great therapy in itself. Everything I did was a positive affirmation of my choice to live and to beat the self destruction.
The cancer doctor I saw who gave me the B17 tablets advised me to have a CA15-3 tumour marker test done. One as soon as possible and another every few months to monitor progress. I changed my GP to an understanding and supportive man who was willing to help me in any way he could. It took us some time to find out how to do the CA 15-3, which private laboratory to use etc.
Seven weeks after being diagnosed with breast cancer I listened to a message on my answering machine. It was my GP telling me the CA15-3 result was 5, the normal range of cancerous activity monitored is less than 28. The cancer doctor said that normally the result would be around 300 for breast cancer, and success would be reducing to around 50, continuing over time until the result was below the normal range of 28. It took quite some time for this to sink into my knowing. NO cancer! I had hoped for this result but what floored me was the speed at which I achieved it. I still had the tumour and continued to shrink it, being able to relax and feel the pressure off.
What kind of regime are you now following?
Now I am still shrinking the tumour. I have continued with most of the dietary advice, since my health has been so good – the best I have had for years! Everyone comments on how healthy I look! I am sure a lot has to do with the amount of water I drink. For the last couple of months I have been drinking 4 litres of water a day, with organic lemon juice squeezed into it to cleanse and keep my body alkaline.
Have there been any setbacks?
Earlier this year I found myself stressed financially. I had coped better when the cancer was my top priority, but since starting work again and being self employed supporting my two girls with my earnings, getting solvent again seemed a long way off. I took myself off my supplements, not by guidance, but from not coping with my financial commitments. My tumour stopped shrinking. I found another hard bit and I knew I had to re-look at my cancer picture.
I decided to find a new way to work with cancer now, without the B17 in tablet form. I started taking vibrational remedies that I made myself. I have an electronic homoeopathic machine. I went for ACMOS testing and balancing (other people I know have used kinesiology to test whether certain products are right for them). Pam Robertson in Dundee has been very helpful and supportive. We could test for the energy levels in all the vitamins and minerals I was taking. Surprisingly, some of the expensive ones recommended by the cancer doctor tested low in energy. I had made vibrational remedies from my juice mixes and for the work I do with crystals. These all tested very high in energy. Now I make vibrational remedies for most of the vitamins and the B17, which gives me a lot of freedom! I also dowse to find the correct doses and alter them when needed. I listen to my body and to my guidance. I have recently found an Amazonian herb called Graviola which has had great success with cancer. This can be bought through a company called Resonance, www.resonance-health.co.uk
Have there been any setbacks?
I have learnt so much that I want to share with people. I want to take the trauma out of the healing crises of disease. I feel it is on my spiritual path to share what I have learnt, through my professional work as a crystal healer, channel and teacher.
I asked my beings that come through my crystal skulls and who guide and support me, why disease is very challenging for us.
“The Magic of Healing has limitless possibilities with which we very often interfere. There are some very simple natural laws that govern the healing essence in every sentient being. These laws are laws of truth spoken from the heart, signals sent out in wholeness and in purity, from one source to another source and responded to accordingly – the laws of creation and manifestation.
Now why do we manage to distort, entangle, block, cut off, defend ourselves from and sabotage all these lines of energy of source coming directly to us to assist us with our healing?
Where is the oneness, the wholeness of Love in any aspect of disease? Very abstractly disease in any part of the body is Love that has forgotten itself.
Any of the issues that we have concerning illnesses relates to the processing that we need to do to clear our emotional and mental bodies, which allows our physical bodies to arrest the development of the disease.
Love that has forgotten itself is a resonance in fragments. Fragmentation can become disease. If we are to truly act as a conduit for Divine Love, with our resonant energy field asking from Source for an infusion of energy, we need to be there open and ready to receive - always in communion, always in union, always in balance within that wholeness.
However within humanity there are many common blocks and self-sabotage that form defences and violent actions logged within humanity’s consciousness, subconscious, unconscious – matrices of disease. Matrices of disease that have been sown in times gone by on the Earth. One of the reasons for the fall of Atlantis 3 is the spread of a disease very much like your cancer.
There was a time when the downfall of Atlantis was known as imminent, every living being incarnate and disincarnate made different arrangements to accommodate the fall of a huge energy source. There were Lemurians and others who had been trying, and dying, to save the Earth. There were Ones (who are nameless) who desired the fall of all species that had opposed Their mastership of planet earth. There were living beings (including Lemurians) within all the kingdoms who opposed domination by this malevolent force, which was interested only in use and abuse of the living gracious energy from these beings.
Every being responded true to their own, and the ones who were holding the vision of wholeness once again return so all the fragments of every living being in every species can come together again. They left the imprints of wholeness hidden. Many beings have discovered these now, but there are many hidden, many more to be found - they are codes. The Lemurians who left them left them in all manner of things, everywhere, so that access could be found by every living being who would return to this state of seeking. Because they would return to the very moment of the destruction as it hit them and they would be taken there by a certain disease. And that disease is cancer.
And it is working in all your bodies. It is more true to say that every living being is growing cancer right now. Now more is understood of the nature of cells, their growth and what controls their growth. Although every individual organism is running its own progammes, has its own issues and its own body consciousness with its life agendas - there is an overlying matrix and that overlying matrix has a need to control human beings. It was set in motion in the latter days of the third civilization of Atlantis by the large insectoid beings who had formed their own council from many different stellar nations. They had joined together in their common cause to take the power of the Earth, Gaia’s consciousness and humanity’s to be used for their own means. To be used as an energy source to be manipulated.
These beings seeded inside themselves and inside humanity a need for a particular cellular movement at a particular time. This kind of thing can also be called implants. So the control for use of energy which creates in human beings a need to self destruct…
So there is a need to find in humanity now as many ways as possible to allow freedom from this control game. We know some of you will find it horrendous to know that the extent of control on this planet is everywhere. Larger than you could ever imagine, because it is everywhere. It is not just underlying one aspect. The actual matrix for self-destruction is everywhere, this is how it was seeded. This is why your cancer figures are coming closer and closer to one in three people, and the potential for going to one in two people, and then to everyone.
Sound and light can play so much a part of healing of this nature. Vibrational Healing is needed to break through these matrices, the matrices that hold disease. There are matrices that hold every single disease. It is a format which every being with a human consciousness has access to.”
I have always been given guidance from the beings that are with me, from my soul’s council over the years, to never suppress my emotions, that they are the power that humanity is known for, the power of their Love once these emotions are transformed into Love, into wholeness, into resolution, into Oneness.
I listen to myself, supporting myself, but I also have a discipline to work with the negativity. When I had my cancer I worked with meditations in the morning, in the evening, at night, as often as I could. I asked for help from friends to look after my children, Joy, aged four and Amethyst aged ten, while I could do as much healing as I needed.
I was taken on journeys by my guides - Journeys into my tumour. So that I could work with the consciousness of the cells and through those cells I could follow the pathway to a whole array of beings, the ones who have seeded cancer on this planet in those days long, long ago. They are here now to reap what they have sown. There are many strata of these beings, and some of them are in human kind, those we may know as the Illuminati, the Dark Brotherhood, those for whom our governments are puppets.
Channelled 11th June 2005
You must never give up your search for freedom, it is in the essence of yourself. The disease matrices exist in every single one of you and if a button is to be pushed then a potential for manifestation of cancer and other terminal diseases is actualized. If you have that potential for manifestation of disease then you also have the potential for the dis-creation of that disease.
And what is it that stops you from knowing your own power in your health, in your well being? Fear. Fear that has been implanted in you so deep that it is taken multiple opportunities in many lifetimes for you to release your fear, to release the need to be controlled by your fear, releasing the need to be controlled. For all these beings cannot control us unless we have a need to be controlled. From your perspective it may seem that it is an infinitesimally small part of your self that needs to be controlled, but that part still holds its energy in the matrix. It might be one tiny, tiny part and therefore will not have a lot of impact of your whole, but the more each one of you has a fear, and a fear of a need to be controlled, ultimately that alone has the right resonance for the controllers to assist you with what you ask for, self –destruction.
Because that is the nature of cancer the fields of fear around cancer then consume every person who has the disease, and also consumes their loved ones and also their family and friends. All united in the same fear of death by a disease which is known to kill, all completely united by fear. And the person who has the cancer is fearful of themselves. They have ignited in themselves by hearing a diagnosis of cancer, a fear, a fear of their own death, a fear of their own self –destruct and they find them selves in fear of themselves as much as of the disease.”
I remember listening to voices in myself who went into martyrdom, playing a martyrdom drama- all part of the cancer picture. It is important to counsel yourself, to listen to these voices. The most wonderful and beautiful thing to attain is that you have a you that observes yourself, that you can feel united enough with your higher self to listen to these personality parts, lower selves, negative ego, your negative ego, consuming you.
It is important to listen but not be consumed, and important to be there to witness yourself. You may ask for help to do this, from your higher self, your guardians, your guides and your council. I had fascinating journeys into my tumour, exploring the consciousness with my guides when I was actively working with the cancer in my own body. For I was wishing to create a temple of Light, filled with Divine Love, around my tumour, around myself. To create a high resonance that would transmute, transform and transfigure all aspects of the disease within me, and I was taken on magical journeys. I have recorded four journeys of the same nature as the ones I went on myself (unrecorded at the time). These are available on CD entitled, Soul Reunion; Journey into Self; Trust and the Temple of Light; Council of Elders. In these journeys, you are connecting in with your higher self, your Divine presence, your guardians and guides and your soul’s council.
So for every person who strives to attain an expanded consciousness, they become a way-shower, they are taking a light into the ultimate darkness of destruction for the human race. For all these beings who have the courage to go in there and hold their light and their truth and their healing as a statement of their being to the universe, the courage is immense. The journey can be triumphant, you need faith to follow this one through to its end, and you develop faith as you follow faithfully. And you develop a spiritual and heavenly rapport with your earthly self through looking after yourself at all levels of being.
Spiritual and physical bodies working together, clearing emotion and negativity through your subconscious and unconscious selves, freeing yourselves from the matrices of destruction, freeing yourself from seeds sown in Atlantis, allowing yourself to be a beacon of Light, an inspiration for many others. All of this may mean not going down the NHS route, not taking any drugs that have been developed as poisons that are cancerous in themselves, so that you are always held in a disabled state. Chemotherapy, radiotherapy, mammograms, biopsies and surgery are procedures to treat cancer, but they are not treating it to enable life to be reclaimed. They are disabling life, they are destroying your immune system, they are putting you at an extreme disadvantage for life.
If you feel your life is difficult (and it will become apparently difficult if your health becomes under pressure as tumours start growing in you), if you have felt at times the toll that it takes daily on your body as energy is consumed by your tumour then imagine yourself FREE. Free from any kind of consuming energy.
LET FREEDOM BE YOUR GOAL AND ASK FOR LIFE IN WHOLENESS.
Kathleen Murray
Galactic Publications (Earth)
